Extreme Body Modification

I'm a big fan of body modification, I've had my lip pierced in 3 places, septum, nose, scaffolding and so on. I'm even getting a tattoo on the inside of my lip, which to some people with more traditional views on life (for example my mother, "Take that bloody
thing out of your nose, you look ugly and stupid") find repulsive. But even I have a limit.

Over the last few months, more and more people are telling me that they're getting their tongue split. Since the tongue is a big muscle, it can be split and then the two halves move separately.
It looks bloody horrible. Do these people have lizards as fashion icons? I would personally prefer to look like Serena from Gossip girl, not an iguana with a freak show tongue. Honestly, who wants to look like this man? (above) I'd be terrified if I bumped into this chap in my local Wetherspoons. I understand that people want it to improve things in the bedroom, but is it really worth enduring such colossal pain and looking like something that has escaped from the circus?

I'm also baffled at why people get plastic surgery to get their ears to resemble those of a pixie's.
I first came across this strange phenomena during an episode of BBC3's 'Snog Marry Avoid'. A neon loving elf wannabe had plastic surgery to get pixie ears. I find this kind of body modification ridiculous. I decided the other day that I no longer wanted lip piercings, so I took them out and they're gone. I decided that now I've finished University, I've grown out of them, but if this girl comes to the same conclusion as I did in a few years, she's stuck looking like a woodland reject. No matter how much she likes it now, all of the attention she gets won't matter at all when she's 35 and full of regret.

God, I'm starting to sound like my mother.

I really want Jeremy Kyle to do a special on this topic. I bet at least half of the guests will say 'I like it because it makes me more individual and non conformist'. Its like goths who all say that they dress the way they do to be different, and all end up looking the same with their Marilyn Manson t-shirts and their long leather coats. Cheer up goths.